It seems so far away...yet so vivid--the day that we kissed for the first time. I knew it was wrong; I knew I shouldn't. I knew that I was only hurting myself, that I was only making things worse...but...I have no regrets. It doesn't matter anymore...nothing does. I'm not going to linger in the past. Instead, I'm going to look toward the future--my future.

Aren't you happy? The happiness I once had...the me you once knew...everything is going to go back to the way it was. We'll be best friends again...and nothing more. I don't know if I'll marry...but I know you will. Those precious, beautiful moments we spent in realization of our passion for one another on that fateful day will slip away and fade, meaningless.

As if they had never existed.

I want you to see me redeem myself. I can't do anything about the scars; some wounds are to deep to heal. But...I hope you will never blame yourself for them ever again. I'll look at my reflection in the mirror each day and remember those times--the times I can not and will not ever return or ever give in to.

I hope you and your family are happy...and I hope the same for my own. Things, now, are broken...but I know that, if I try, I can fix it. I'm not going to run away anymore. I'm going to break free from the walls I've built around myself; I'm going to rebuild my family, and stop drinking my sorrows away. I will face my problems, and overcome them.

Morya...aren't you proud of me? I've grown up...and I have no intention of ever looking back. I'm not some helpless little girl anymore. I'm not a broken shell of the person I once was. I still love you--I always will, and I hope you know that. But you see...even if you're only a friend, I want more than anything...

..More than anything else in the world...

I want you to be there, standing beside me, when my wish is made a reality.